.Saturday, March 12, 2005 ; 5:23 AM -
.His Mercy is New everY mornInG.
Well, as everyone in hall who is not blind and deaf knows, yesterday was Sheares DnD. I went with block comm and was kinda late. Actually, I suppose to go with block comm. But, I ended up going with RY and some of us went separately. Anyway, it was not a good night for me. I got major headache during the dinner and slight gastric before that. I thought I can survive through the night. Well, I left in the middle of dinner citing headache as my reason. Which is true. Headache, hunger and tired, I decided to head back. I got a few calls and msgs from block comm pepz. Hmm..after all they still care. What about the others you asked?I'm too insignificant to them.
Then I went back to sleep; didnt even bother to change. I had this rather interesting dream. It was so real that I almost belief it. Here it goes.
I was walking past this very familiar street and stopped at supposedly my fav place (I think it was Esplanade waterfront). Then suddenly the scene change to a bus stop with lotsa christmas light. I was sitting there and someone approached me. We started talking. There were so much to discuss I actually can't remember much of it. A few things that he told me kinda coincide with what has been happening to me. I was told that a person was considering getting me back. But, the thing is we will never be able to be together unless it is one on one and not one on three. I was rather disturb and felt "revealed". I still remembered in the dream I told myself after knowing all the things, I can rest in peace. Which is true. Funnily, I felt pain and sadness in the dream. There's this feeling of "wu nai" (read in chinese). I can't do anything to rectiffy the problem because the best thing I can do to rectify is to do nothing. Then, I woke up.
It's time for me to wake up anyway. I've been sleeping too much. Too much sleep makes me feeling confused and dazed.
I gave up. Hopefully he does too. Sometimes it's no use to do something for the sake of proving it wrong. You'll just end up getting yourself deeper into this shit. I am on my way and I don't want to turn back because I will be tempted to walk down that memory lane again.
It used to be a pleasant dream. Well..used to be.. now..It's a nightmare.
Don't bother. Don't care. Don't think. Don't speak.
