.Wednesday, July 06, 2005 ; 2:39 AM -
.His Mercy is New everY mornInG.
This is my first entry of the week. Sleep is what i suppose to do now. But, I came here instead. Anyway, I love midnight time. The cooling night breeze, quiet surrounding. plus the calming voice of Norah Jones totally sooth my body. Do I wish to share this moment with special someone?I don't know. Maybe...maybe not.
Before work started today, I went to look for MO. He called me yesterday but I was working. So we chatted for a while. He asked what naughty things I've been up to lately ^^. His next question caught me off guard. How did he guess my mind?Somehow I wanted to bring up this particular issue but I hesitated. So I told him the story. He asked what is my reaction. What do I think? I said it's none of my business. After all I'm just an outsider. Maybe what he wanna know was whether I felt happy with the outcome. I won't deny that there was a tinge of pleasantness (like this --> O_o)
Evil am I?
As I tied wires to wire mashes today, my mind was tossed between two possibilities.
A = stick with what I had decided weeks ago. To be precised, the week I'm in Indo.
B = Let this little seed of hope grows and flowers.
My mind tells me to go to A. So what did my heart says? 45%A, 45%B, the remaining decided to put things on hold and take a step at a time. I guess either way have its own risk. I'm tired of guessing and guessing. I'm really tired.
Have you ever experience a trauma due to accidents or shock? The body will automatically block off certain response or memories or whatsoever that will inflict pain on body and soul. There are times that I felt this way. Whenever I replayed our scenes in my mind, I felt nothing. I will smile whenever I recalled the happy times with my friends. But, in that case, there's nothing. I guess I'm a little relieved when I felt nothing. The fuzzy warm feeling spells trouble. It is better off this way. Or Is it?
Don't know why (Norah Jones)
I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come
When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand
My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever
Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road alone
My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever
Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come
"But I'll be a bag of bones Driving down the road alone". My friend said, " go find someone in university coz after you go out to work, it will be harder". I just smiled at her. Why? I don't know what to say. Do I agree with her? I used to disagree. I used to. Now, I have given up. Whatever will be..let it be. It's just too tiring and tedious. Looks account for big portion is the game of relationship. Don't deny it. It's reality. Looks..do I have it?....I leave u all readers to answer. No I'm not pitying myself here. Just my two cents worth.
Why am I still PMS-ing?
