.Thursday, June 29, 2006 ; 3:52 AM -
.His Mercy is New everY mornInG.
I acquired more "souvenirs" from rag. Aargh!!!Help! I even got a cut when cleaning tables.
It's funny how this nagging feeling continues to linger on. Am I too sensitive? To others, their r/s is quite an innocent one. Close as they seem to be but somehow I cant stop observing them. Maybe I'm simply thinking too much. How I hope I am. Prove me wrong. Please. I don't want to see beautifful r/s being destroyed by some irresponsible and childish behaviour. And I can't do anything about it. Why am I such a busy body?
Relationship is a such a funny thing. Wondering. That's what I do when I don't understand what is happening. I don't understand why women like to speak the opposite of what we think or want. How does booze settle problems when it only cause more problems such as upset stomach and headache. Why guys tend to accept what appears right in front of them. Is it their nature to auto pilot things?I realise I'm quite naive. People are generally nice and trustworthy. Well, not really. When promises are made, they will be fulfilled. So far, those "empty cheques" are passed around like some freebies. Wait, it is free. Promises are made not to be fulfilled all the time. I'm one who's guilty of breaking promises. I was so looking forward for today's breakfast at macs. But, the flesh is indeed weak. I drifted back into my fantasy land. Must not do that again.
Well, things look fine and calm on the surface. Who knows what kind of calamity is brewing inside. I realised how fragile a relationship is - be it couple or friends. I find it hard to be truthful to people who are closer to me. Especially if the person is a guy. I guess I'm scared history will repeat itself. I don't want to lose the comfy feeling shared between friends. That sense of freedom and ease will disappear once I feel something for that person. As replacement, insecurity, fear, unhappiness and unreasonble expectation creep in. In the end, I'll end up avoiding him and burying this feeling together with all sorts of other irrational emotions.
A friend asked ' what kind of guy do you like'. For once, I was unsure of my answer. I guess that's because there's no one on my mind. However, one thing for sure, I would like to be with someone I'm comfortable with. Rather hard to find I would say. Mr Nice guy is the boring sort. Mr Player is one potential heart-breaker. Mr mysterius loves to take his girl's heart on roller coaster ride. Mr Narcissist spends too much love on himself. Mr Quiet will bore his girl to death. Mr chatty tends to forget his gal needs to have some share in verbal expression. So how? dunno lar
