.Monday, July 17, 2006 ; 6:13 AM -
.His Mercy is New everY mornInG.
This verse is like a direct answers to my doubts.
Proverbs 17:22
A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.
A friend said I always appear to be happy. Am I? Sometimes I wonder whether I am truly happy when I laugh and truly sad when I cried. All these emotions are so mixed up I no longer know how to classified them. Sometimes, I appear to be happy because I don't want to affect others. Sounds noble? But, it is true that one's mood can affect those who are around that person. I rather be the medicine that does good to the heart than be the culprit who dries up the bone.
I do get tired sometimes. After all I'm a mere human. Who is there to pass me the medicine that I need?
I guess I've come to the point of being numb to unnecessary emotions. Ignorance is bliss. Shut off the door. If they ever sneaked in, throw them out of the window. A friend says I think too much. I must live the let go life. Things can't be controlled so just let it be. How I wish I can. I dislike the feeling of hopelessness and uselesness. Reasons?I equate losing control to getting hurt emotionally. Funny rite?Is it the symptoms of a control freak? There's only so much I can do. I really need a PM of my own. Someone who takes the centre place in my life and oversee everything for me. No, the person is not boyfriend/husband/personal assistants. They can't even sort out their own life. What qualify them for this job. Only one Person is able; my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
I'm glad I went to church today. Although I fell asleep for at least 15 mins, the annointing never leave me. We are like God aren't we? We love many people but sometimes we only favor a few. Just like God found favor in David. Today's message is about how can the blessings of God can be manifested in our life. Seriously speaking, many will say "just obey God lor". Is it as cliche as that? How many realise that we must make Christ the overseer of our life to have maximum manifestation of blessings in our life? Joseph is one good example. I guess i must start letting go the need to control and let Christ control me instead.
I always think that we will not be able to convince others unless we ourselves are convinced. Well, I was partially correct. It is amusing how I can continue blaberring when in my brain I deemed whatever I've spout out are pure nonsensical statements. No matter what happen, I cannot fall in front of them. Encouraging words are necessary. Acknowledge them and they'll feel respected and appreciated. World peace. Whatever.
Some ask, why are we doing this? Want some cliche answers? For the people around you, for the hall, for the glory and etc. I no longer buy those ideas. It's not that I lost the passion. But, as I progress further, I realised it is impossible to please everyone. And, there's no point doing that too. Many don't know how to write the word appreciation. However, one or two bad apples will not and should not disqualify the whole basket. Therefore, do for those who you deemed worth it. Not many here but to them, it means a lot. Just like my Saviour who will go all the way to find the one missing lamb. Bless me Lord that I may reflect the glory of God. Amen and Good nght...YYyyYAAaaaWWwwmmmmmm
