.Tuesday, June 12, 2007 ; 3:13 AM -
.His Mercy is New everY mornInG.
June 11 has finally ended. Honestly, the thought never leave my mind. It came up numerous times even when I was doing my German paper. Am I being too hard on myself? Am I being selfish? I think I should send. No, I shouldn't. It was like a never-ending internal battle within me. Probably it is better off this way. Giving the impression that I am too busy to remember and hence, he is not that important in my heart. Again, we women are famous for "mouth yes, heart no" a.k.a Whatever said may not be the true meaning/intention. Sigh....
I do think that I am rather selfish. For the sake of protecting myself from future hurt, I distance myself from the source; be it a person or a cause or an issue. No, I am not running away although it seems like it. I don't want to lose both of them, neither do I want to lose any one of them. If this issue ever to surface, not only my relationship with 2 of them will be affected. But also relationship between 2 of them. Twice is enough. History should not repeat itself. Twice is dumb enough!!
Moving on when it hurts is difficult, almost impossible. We tend to stick to the present situation, nursing the pain and wishing we could turn back time. Can we?
What has passed stays in the past. Even things that happen one second ago. There's no way to change it. What we can do is only to move ahead and continue to hold on to the promises and hope that we have in our Lord Jesus Christ. Let Him be our Guide. Let Him take our hand and lead the way in the path that He has planned and prepared for us. It hurts to move on but it hurts even longer to stay at where you are.
