.Sunday, January 13, 2008 ; 12:27 AM -
.His Mercy is New everY mornInG.
I thought I knew
In fact I don't even know a thing!
I felt so small, so tiny.
Yet so blessed coz God loves me, this tiny imperfect creature called kathy.
His presence was so real, so strong that even the hardest heart will be soften.
Even the most notorious sinner will repent.
How sinful I am
How silly I am
Trusting my own way
Being unfaithful
Focusing on things not of God
Yet He said, "those who come to Him I will forgive"
He has forgiven me
He has forgiven you
But How much do I know His love for me?
Trouble comes, worry comes
I feel dejected, defeated
Trusting Him become so hard
so unfruitful so discouraging
But where else I can go?
Outside of Him, there's only destruction
Outside of Jesus, there's nothing worthy
I ask "Lord, why is it so dry, nothing is happening! I thought You said You know I need all these things? I thought You have blessed me with all heavenly blessings?where are they?"
I thank God for His mercy that He didn't struck me down with lightning for being so ungrateful.
I thank God for His longsuffering in teaching me His ways.
I thank God His Words are truth.
He cannot lie He cannot go back on His words.
Somehow I know only Jesus I can hold on to
Even though it is hard at times, I know He is always with me
Today, He showed me the true meaning of prosperity
True prosperity is to have kingdom of God released in our life
When we forgive those who hurt us the deepest, that is when Kingdom of God is established
When we comfort those who are mourning, that is when His kingdom comes
When we love one another as much as we love ourselves, that is the Kingdom of God.
He opened my eyes to Matthew 5:3-12 The beatitude.
I still don't understand.
Heidi Baker illustrated every single verse with a true story
But I still don't understand
Unless one experience how is it like to be poor, hungry, desperate
I will not experience the riches of the poor.
I asked myself, have I ever be truly hungry and desperate?
The answer that came is N.O.
I am not desperate in my working life
I am not desperate in pursuing a relationship
I am not desperate in pursuing academic qualification
I am not even desperate in pursuing God
I am lukewarm towards God
I need God's forgiveness for being lazy and lukewarm
I even don't know how much I need God everyday.
How can God save such a wretched sinner like me
haughty proud know-it-all attitude void of love lazy bad-tempered
Only amazing grace
Only amazing grace
Only Jesus
