.Saturday, August 16, 2008 ; 12:44 AM -
.His Mercy is New everY mornInG.
Hate the song yet I cant help but smile at the lyrics.
What kind of sick feeling I am having now? This is ridiculous.
I was scribbling and drawing away during the meeting and suddenly "plop", a head landed on my shoulder. Of course I know whose head is it. I acted as if nothing happen and gave it a light tap. The best way is to treat him like a girl.
Something is definitely going on at the other side of the seat. But, it was one sided. I have a feeling that he is leaving soon. Earliest would be end of the year.
He was right. We have a good team now. There are glitches occasionally. Somehow, God blessed us with people who are able to complement each other well. Really well. One is leaving this coming Tuesday. Sad. Life must go on though.
It was this way in ME and it will be the same everywhere else. Mich left. Followed by Alice and HL. Next to leave is me n GC. Oh well, this is life. Get over it and move on.
Life is full of beginnings and endings, hits and misses. How many really stayed till the end.
Occasionally, I will think of M and W. Hmm, funny how M looks like W when it is flipped upside down. I miss the time we spent together laughing and playing together. Things were good as it is. Once that sickening feeling crept in, things will never be the same again.
I didn't go to his cell group because I do not want to see him. How do I tell him that meeting him make me feel even more? The fact that he likes my friend solidify my decision. I do not want to come in between them. What is the point of letting history repeating itself. Seriously. I will tell him one day. I think I would. We will see how. I am never good at softening the blow. Honesty is still the best policy. I miss W. He is stupidly irritating. But, he did gave me some of the best memories. Thinking back, what would have happen if I relented. Nah, I don't think I will ever do that.
STOP DWELLING IN THE PAST>!! Move on.
I am eating too much lately. Need to address this guilty feeling. Another round of binging tomorrow and Sunday.
Oh, I quit the ministry. Why? I don't want to serve anymore. It has turn into a chore. Going down every Sunday, acting happy and trying to enjoy whatever I was doing. I have been doing half of those from Monday to Friday. Out of 7 days, I only have 2 days of rest. No matter how selfish it sounded, I really want to do things that I like in these 2 days. No planning. Just go with the flow.
Well, I am quiting the church as well. Lets put it this way; things that are said left certain traces of doubt and confusion. I need to find answers to this. I really do.
Time to sleep. God knows when am I coming back here again. It has been rather quiet.
Lookin' at you now I can tell
That you and your new relationship ain't goin' well
There's no reason your name should come up on my cell
Unless you're unhappy but that shouldn't be the case
'Cause you said said he was the one
Baby yes you said said you were in love
'Cause when you left me you said that you wouldn't be
Comin' back remember that but I never agreed
I hate to say it but I told you so
Told you if you left that you were gonna be miserable
Guess he don't do it like me or else you wouldn't be
Runnin' back to the past it was you that left me
I hate to say it but you know I'm right
Everytime you're up be callin' for me late at night
But now that you ain't got me tell me where you gon' be
'Cause I can't take you back no my heart won't let me
Girl you know he can't touch like I do
I don't see you trippin' or flippin' over his moves
Don't take a genius to see he ain't that dude
But you let him back you don't know what you was on
When you said said he was the one
Baby yes you said said you were in love
'Cause when you left me you said that you wouldn't be
Comin' back remember that but I never agreed
I hate to say it but I told you so
Told you if you left that you were gonna be miserable
Guess he don't do it like me or else you wouldn't be
Runnin' back to the past it was you that left me
I hate to say it but you know I'm right
Everytime you're up be callin' for me late at night
But now that you ain't got me tell me where you gon' be
'Cause I can't take you back no my heart won't let me
You fall on hard times it seems
But you ain't gettin' no sympathy
No baby not from me
'Cause I told you you should never leave
See you chose this road so you gotta go it alone
Remember I told you so
I hate to say it but I told you so
Told you if you left that you were gonna be miserable
Guess he don't do it like me or else you wouldn't be
Runnin' back to the past it was you that left me
I hate to say it but you know I'm right
Everytime you're up be callin' for me late at night
But now that you ain't got me tell me where you gon' be
'Cause I can't take you back no my heart won't let me
